Taking God at his word

It's a cold Monday in August and none of us feel like being in the cold South African office, working unpaid and trying to figure out daily what we need to do to fulfil His calling. And how to raise the money to do it. My prayer today as I walked to work was 'give me the strength to face today, Lord, and I will serve you.' What was special about today? What did I have to face?

The answer: nothing.

It's not that we have nothing to do, per se. Far from it in fact, there's lots that we have planned and sometimes the difficulty is knowing where to start. However, the nothing refers to no major, earth shattering event that we have to face. The day-to-day work of longterm missions can be draining and thankless. There isn't even the added perk of a pay cheque at the end of the month.

The truth is: we have many miracle moments in YWAM. We have many many times when God meets us. Daily God speaks to us; but that doesn't make it any easier to follow. I think all of us have moments where we feel we can't go on, or we just can't face it.

This weekend I was reading the first few chapters of Exodus where Moses was being commanded by God to go and tell Pharoah to 'let my people go'. Moses was telling God that he couldn't do the impossible and God was reminding him that He can do the impossible!

Right now, I know that God has called me into missions, to serve him and to trust him. To trust him dispite what I see and know; to trust him, even when it seems impossible. God has spoken clearly that I can trust his promises and he will not leave me.

But in the middle of winter, on a Monday morning, it can be hard to find the energy to see the sunshine behind the clouds.

Trusting in God's promises

Rainbow over Muizenberg mountain
that I noticed during my prayer walk this week. 

Dear friends in the blogosphrere: I'm back!

Please forgive me for being absent for a couple of months. For me (Peter), personally, this year so far has been tough. There are a lot of lessons I’m learning in how to keep going in longterm mission work.

Missions is not easily defined and not easy to quantify. We know certain things - either things that we've decided upon, like where we are working physically (i.e. South Africa) and, maybe, where we are going next - and things God's guided us in, such as working with YWAM Communications and anti-trafficking work. We also know the big picture of our calling. But sometimes our circumstances just don’t make sense at the time when we have to face them; sometimes we strive and our projects fail. Sometimes people fail us. Missions is made up of people, fallible humans with whom God chooses to partner. I heard one wise person once say: you're ready and wise enough to have children when you're in your 60s, but you're just too old to do it physically! This apt statement had me thinking. God chooses to get us to be parents before most of us are ready. And he's put me in leadership way before I feel ready to be here. And it's not just because I'm in YWAM - it's a clear calling from God to step out in faith and trust him.

My journey with AfriCom has been one of adventure, excitement and victory. But there have been times of disappointment, disillusionment and frustration. What I expected to happen (especially with new staff joining and the roles they would play) just didn't. And what I thought would be impossible (often with the fulfilment of certain financial commitments) were very much provided for.

Probably the hardest thing I've had to process this year is the anticipated recruitment of staff and assisting them develop roles within the organisation and the reality that most have not joined and the one that did was unable to stay (for reasons beyond her control). Yet God’s promised us that He will grow the team. How do I match up God's promise to the reality in which I live? I know that God's promises are conditional and thankfully he gives us the conditions. Thankfully so far I have met those conditions (for me it is simple: remain in me). God has met with me several times to confirm this message and the fact that he is pleased with my steadfast faith in him despite my circumstances.

I feel that it's in that trusting him (despite what we see around us) that we really see God's glory shine. Right now I am putting a great deal of trust in his faithfulness because I know that the reality of my own limitations and the situation I find myself won't achieve what he has promised. Therefore I would be foolish not to lean on him right now!

Just this week a trusted friend came to me and told me that during his prayer times, he had a message: "Pete, you can trust God's promises." he said. "Right now the most important thing is to remain in him."

Harder said than done, I can promise you, but here goes: I am going to strive to remain in him and trust in his promises and guidance.

I will let you know how I get on. Thanks for reading!

Do you have a biblical worldview?

This question was posed by the speaker tonight at a gathering of YWAMers from around Southern Africa. He identified how easy it is for us to have a restricted socio-economic worldview which often stems from our childhood – how we were brought up; how our parents view the world. How do we view finances and our resources that we have to hand? And what is God’s view? He used the Lord’s Prayer as a focal point, particularly: Hallowed be Your Name; Your Kingdom Come.
It was very thought provoking – one of those messages that gets you really thinking.
He encouraged us to step away from that type of thinking. What if our socio-economic worldview were to change? What if we were to see God’s presence in our lives as a type of embassy? An embassy – no matter what country you’re in – is a safe haven for any citizen that it represents. The laws, rules and regulations in that premesis are of that country. This is what, according to the speaker, we really should mean when we pray: Your Kingdom Come –  i.e. bring your embassy (protection) to this place. Let us be under Your authority and Your rules here. This left me wondering what is my socio-economic worldview? How do I restrict myself to my upbringing and my knowledge of the world? Do I really allow God to be my protector and guide? And how do we get a biblical worldview?

I suppose that I have to ask God to reveal my limitations to me and look to change when He does. I have a feeling it’s a gradual process because there’s so much that shapes us from how we were brought up. I’m not sure of any specific examples of my mentality that I have, but I’m sure over time, God will reveal them to me!

For a bit of entertainment, here are some stereotypes of socio-economic worldview on buying a necklass:
Poverty mentality
“We can’t afford Jewellery, let alone a necklass!"

Middle class mentality
“Darling I bought this designer necklass, it was 30% off, you know!”

Wealth mentality
“This necklass was exclusively handcrafted by a native American tribe 200 years ago. It’s the only one of its kind, you know”

Be still and know

After an amazing few days with the leaders of the YWAM locations across Southern Africa it was time to join the rest of the staff for a regional conference at a spa in Worcester (just two hours drive from us). During these past few days we have wrestled with our past as a mission in this region, and learned more about God's heart for YWAM. As we shared our hearts on what we felt our roles were within YWAM using the metaphor of family (brothers, mothers, grandparent etc), we began to see that it is not easy to define ourselves. We also felt there were a lack of those who saw themselves as 'father figures' in our region.

Tonight Ian Muir - the Scottish founding father of YWAM in South Africa - gave the opening speech. In it we heard a powerful message of the importance of listening to God. He called on us to 'Be still and know..." (Psalm 46:10) because if we don't we will not (necessarily) be able to be obedient to what he's calling us to do. "In our busy lives with smart phones and mobile phones, with iPhones and iPods, it is increasingly difficult to quieten ourselves to be still ... in conferences - like this one - where schedules and timetables are pushed in importance, we can miss what God is calling us to be". 

It was fitting, therefore, after the word from Ian, for the delegates of the conference, led by Diane Vermooten of YWAM Media Village, to pay tribute through gifts and song, for the example that Ian has been to YWAM in this part of the world. He has gone before us, he has endured the hardship and paid the price for obedience, so that we can do the work we're called to do. 

Djembe magazine: out now!

It gives me great pleasure to introduce the latest edition of AfriCom’s Djembe magazine. This is a publication of YWAM AfriCom.

As one of the most versatile drums in Africa, the djembe was originally used to gather people together, create inspirational rhythms and to help tell stories. Djembe, therefore, seemed a fitting title for an YWAM magazine designed to connect like-minded people across Africa and in which we can share encouraging stories and lessons learned.

Djembe magazine
Reporting the rhythms of YWAM Africa

Here at AfriCom, Djembe is used to communicate the awesome things God is doing in Africa through YWAM, to encourage and connect YWAM bases, ministries and missionaries across the continent with one another and with similar organizations, and to share valuable knowledge and skills.

This edition focuses on how YWAMers are bringing transformation to communities right across the continent through education and training. It’s really exciting to see how God is building His Kingdom across Africa and how YWAMers, have a key role to play.

Read how the YWAM Redeem school is bringing education and God’s love to children in the previously war-torn country of South Sudan; share in the celebration with YWAM’s Gideon Centre in Mali empowering people and restoring their God-given dignity through vocational training; and learn more about the keys to living the fruitful and meaningful lives God has called us to.

Physical copies are available for £2 each. Just email: djembe@ywamafricom.org with the number of copies you would like and we'll be in touch to arrange payment and shipping.

Or you can download view a copy of Djembe magazine here now

Analysing 2011

The end of year report can be something that you dread doing. It's a long process of analysing what has been achieved (and not achieved) over the year and being upfront and honest with those that engage with you. We're in the process of completing our first annual report, as we were officially commissioned to 'go' into longterm missions in December 2010 (even though we'd been in missions since January of that year. So, 2011 was our first year of the commitment of many churches and individuals who engage with us for our missionary journey. Therefore we want to show them what has been done with their support over this time. One of our learning curves, doing this report, has been remembering the details of what exactly we did each month. Sometimes, so much goes on, that after a year it's hard to pin down what we did when. Therefore, as a learning outcome, we have pledged to write a paragraph summary for the report each month, so that it's not this mammoth document to complete at the end of the year. Finances too were a lot more tricky that I anticipated. As our bank changed from paper statement to electronic format, I thought it would be really straightforward to analyse our financial status/money use. However, it was much much more tricky than that, as the bank in question (not naming it here) does not support Excel/Money/Quicken or anything - just viewing on screen. Added to that, any transactions older than three months are archived, where you have to literally click on each transaction to view the details. This was a very labour-intensive task! So, now, with the end of month summary, I'm going to be doing an end of month draw down from the bank for easier analysis. Yay!

Having said all that, it has been a great process. It has been really encouraging to see just how much we do and how much can be done in 12 months! It was hard in the end to limit each quarter to just three pages of text. We can see God's glory and how He has enabled us to achieve what we've been able to do in this time.

Our annual report is available from 10th April 2012 for anyone who wants it - please email report@ywamafricom.org to get your copy.

Going through a paradigm shift

How quickly we allow things to become our guides, rather than taking our leading from the voice of God and then using things for that purpose. I read a challenging and thought-provoking article this morning from a fellow YWAMer Daniel Norris entitled Taking back your time. Daniel highlights how we easily become a slave to technology, rather than letting it serve us and our God-given purposes. His sacrifice of his laptop has resulted in more quality time spent with his wife. Something I need to learn too.
It's amazing how this penetrates our ministry too. Even though we think that we are getting on the right track to where God is leading us in AfriCom, it is always good to ask others with a more objective perspective to challenge us - especially in the area of allowing tasks/things/technology to lead us. One of the newest members of staff, Susana, challenged us about how we appear to be a media agency, yet we claim that we're not.
As I was unpacking the vision of how AfriCom is a ministry of YWAM which aims to embrace the idea of Christ centred communication and that we need to allow Him to guide us in the actions/tasks that we do, Susana mentioned the importance of the language we use and how that affects how others view us. It also affects our approach and shows our worldview. She has noted that the terms we refer to in the tasks we do are generally media terms. As we look to productivity in meetings, many words like video, podcast, article, website, photograph are used when dealing with tasks. Then the relationships are put in a place that leads us to complete these tasks. She challenged us to rethink that mindset and look at how we can change it so that the media side of things serve us, rather than the other way around; that our focus when we meet people shouldn't be immediately 'where's the story?', rather 'what is God saying to us here?'. This is a great challenge, as it requires a paradigm shift in our approach to everything we do.
The vision that God has laid before AfriCom, includes building bridges between French and English speaking Africa, and developing a resource centre for missions. But this won't necessarily be achieved by writing some articles or raising awareness through our channels, though these will still be some of the tasks that the team will do. It goes much deeper than that. We are now tasked with embracing the vision that God has given us, but developing immediate tasks that take steps towards that vision. This doesn't fit nicely into a tick-box 'to do' list. Obedience in this way will mean walking in repentance of where we have found ourselves (i.e. serving the task, rather than God). Our first step of obedience is to go, travel into the field and meet those working on the ground. Then, ask God what His purposes are. Then we can build tasks from that, which may, or may not, include some kind of media output.
We have started this journey with our recent trip to Bangui, Central Africa Republic. It was a great time of deepening our understanding of central Africa and really listening to the people who work there. We are now regrouping and praying through our responsibility and actions that we need to take to fulfil what God wants us to do. This will take time and we know that if we are obedient to His call, it will bear fruit.

Learn as you go

The strange part of God equipping the called is that you end up walking a path which is a lot less firm than if all the preparation had been done before. If I had spent years in Africa, travelling the continent and learning the ways of the people; if I had been in YWAM for many years, working my way through different departments, learning and growing, then I would be much more equipped to do the job I am doing now. But God put me firmly in a position and a place where I feel like I am daily walking on water. Yet I struggle to step out and act on that.
For those who aren't used to such metaphorical language to describe how we are feeling and what we are going through, let me explain. Because I've got a firm foundation to stand on, I'm able to walk on water. Most of these metaphors are difficult to grasp and are often over-used. That's why we need to regularly unpack what we mean and use plain language (by the way, thank you to David Ker for his excellent blog entry on cohesion and coherence.)
So, here goes:

Prov. 3: 5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.

I have to remind myself that my foundation for living, and what I am doing in life should not be based what I see around me - my physical surroundings, my financial circumstances, my emotional state, my health or my well being. Rather, the foundation lies on a promise that God makes to everyone who calls on him that they will be saved from eternal damnation and live a life that is purposeful and rich. So, that's the foundation: believing the promise. Then there's the walking on water bit. That is about doing things that God calls me to do, even if they don't make sense in a 'logical', or 'normal' way of doing things. An example of this is being played out right now by my colleague Beth who is currently in central Africa to meet and greet someone who has asked us for our support. As a team, we heard the call and knew it was from God. Without money or means, and without asking anyone for help, she was sponsored to travel there by someone who didn't know the calling. God made a way.
When I see such provision and guidance, I realise that, all too often, I do not personally allow these to enter into my life enough. I talk freely about firm foundations in Christ, and the need to step out in faith; to walk on water. But I struggle to do it, and therefore I don't always see the miraculous provision and guidance that is part and parcel of walking a life of faith. In my brokenness, my prayer for this week is that God would bring me back to that place where He is the one providing and I am the one trusting.

Be Still and Know

Prayer is so fruitful. If we did nothing else today, this time would not be wasted. Spending the first hour of the day in prayer gave us such an insight into God's way of doing things.

Being still is not as easy as it looks. But it is vital if we are to fulfil what he has called us to do. The reality of the situation for AfriCom is that we do not have regular provision for our basic needs, let alone the projects we feel called to do. With such a reality, it's easy to get drawn into plans, projects and strategies.

As we prayed as a team this morning, rather than answering our need for provision, God told us to be still and know that I am your God. The passages of scripture we received from our time of prayer all confirmed this message. When we brought God our needs, we felt guided to Matthew 6:31-32 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’, For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.

So, rather than having a clear answer as to where the money for our ministry will come from, we had a sense of assurance that we just need to trust him. As we continued to pray, we felt led to openly confess our lack of trust and fear of failure that had crept in and was distracting us from the original calling.

What we know is that we need to have that stillness that only comes from being under the assurance of God and therefore trusting him enough to not fear about provision or needs.

Pastor Victor, one of the many gifted teachers at our church, gave a message on Sunday about setting our eyes on the eternal goal and not on our earthly needs. This fits our situation so well. If we trust God totally for our current needs (and thereby not let it consume us) and instead work towards the eternal, we will not panic when things fall apart around us.

Being still, as my colleague, Susana reminded us, is not about being passive. It's about that preparation that God is calling us to, to anticipate the move of God in our lives and to seek him first. Once again it falls back to the two commandments that Jesus taught us: firstly Love God, then Love others. So by praying for provision means that we are abandoning the core calling that God has placed on our lives. His command is to Love Him first, then Love others. Our needs don't even come into the picture. And they don't need to, because he's already told us not to worry about that, that's already sorted!

How long have you been in missions?

This question is posed more often than you'd think. Over time, this sense of pride kicks in to those of us that call ourselves 'missionaries' that we've 'survived' the long-run. When people pose that question to me, I avoid a straight answer, because it's not as simple as that. We've only been in YWAM for just over two years now, does that make us 'new missionaries'?
Since becoming a Christian in my teens and gradually learning what it is to be a follower of Christ, I have also  begun to learn that we are all in missions all the time. When I worked as a sub-editor for a publication in rural Berkshire, I was in missions just as much as I am now, except the mission field just looked different, that's all. When I look back, I remember praying fervently for my colleagues and seeking opportunities to pray for them and share with them about Jesus. It just so happens that now my calling from God has led me away from a salary and I have to rely on those who partner with us to support us. It's harder, more humbling and very different, but no less missions than where either Becky or I were before.
On that note, we are very grateful for the financial and prayer support that we get and know that many people who give to us, do so sacrificially. May the Lord bless you, keep you and sustain you.
It might sound like a cliché to say that, we're all in missions together but I think in a way, it's true. It needs unpacking a bit; it's easier for me to see what my mission is now than where I was working before, but reflecting back, missions has been a key element to my walk with Jesus for the best part of 15 years now.
I would love to encourage everyone and anyone who serves Christ reading this to really seek to understand what your role is in missions. Where has God led you to work, to live and to socialise? Because that's your mission field, until God leads you elsewhere. The Great Commission is not just for the 'professional Christians', but for all who call themselves a follower of Christ. I know the few of us that are on the 'mission field' cannot do this by ourselves!

Be my Valentine?

Back to firing from all cylinders, it's great to know that there is an army of friends praying for us in missions. Somehow, even though I haven't taken any time off work since my last blog post, I have renewed energy and vigour - this can only come from the Lord!

Added to that, my prayer life has significantly improved and I'm even spending more time reading my Bible ("you missionaries already read your Bible loads" I hear you say!)

Now to enjoy an evening with my valentine.

Second wind

Sometimes in missions we can face burnout. Sometimes we can feel like the world is upon us. Sometimes we just aren't sure of where we're going so we're like a sail that isn't anchored down in any way.

Since returning from England, there have been so many things to deal with and issues to sort out that I feel like my feet haven't touched the ground. We had a really busy time in the UK and I was hoping for a break when I returned to South Africa. No such luck. I feel like a sail that's blown here there and everywhere with no sense of grounding and direction. I feel there hasn't been time to catch-my-breath. Also, being struck down with food poisoning didn't help! Yet there is so much work that I still need to do and so much I need to step up to, to do what I'm called here to do. Yet I'm exhausted just thinking about.

Long drive
As I reflected on this during a drive home from a meeting on the other side of town today (about an hour away), the lack of radio in my car meant I had time to think! I really felt God giving me a second wind; that I should trust him during this time and just press in. That now isn't a time for sitting down and moaning, or whining, but now is a time for action. I believe that, though I'm tired, God will give me my second wind of energy -- just like you get when you're in a race and you feel exhausted in the first quarter and think "how am I ever going to finish", determination pushes you to jog/cycle/swim through that and then you get your second wind.

The person leading today's meeting brought a word of encouragement (and challenge) to us that fitted this nicely. He told us about God's miracles always being intertwined with the reality of the physical. God doesn't just clothe, heal, feed or bless for the sake of it. He works with people, in their circumstances and gave a (supernatural) helping hand, as they also did their part. The reflection was on the miracles that we see in the books of Kings, but could be applied to almost any miracle - from multiplying foods of various kinds to the parting of the Jordan - all were done in a context where men did the possible and God did the impossible.

I know that I know this, but do I really KNOW this?

Need to digest, sleep and look to get some quality quiet time in tomorrow. Then I can press on towards the higher goal.

Lord give me the energy, perseverance and wisdom to continue doing what You've called me to do.
Amen.

Measuring success

Well done, good and faithful servant.

These are words every Christian longs to hear. Success can be seen as a very loaded term as it is increadibly subjective. Yet we slip into measuring, rewarding and boasting success so easily and apply our world view to the measure. By doing so, what can be a great success for some is a dramatic disappointment for others and vice versa. Just take any football match, for example, it's only a success if your side wins!

For some industries, success and failure are black and white (or used to be), such as in banking, for example, where a successful year would be measured by how the balance sheet looked (although that's probably a bad example, given the current climate!). For athletes the ultimate measure of success would probably be competing (and winning) an Olympic medal.

So what is success in mission? How is it measured and what should we celebrate it? Should we celebrate it at all?

As I travel and meet more and more people involved in full time Christian service I find that the measure of success varies greatly. The easiest way to see what people's view of success is, is to attend a few meetings. More often than not, the leader of the meeting will be abundantly clear by body language, tone of voice and message whether the message they are bringing is positive or negative. Also, positive/success messages are often celebrated with clapping and cheering.

Many will celebrate success by number of volunteers/staff working for the mission. Some will measure it by how the finances are looking. Others will mark it by the output (number of outreaches/schools/activities).

This week, as some of us in YWAM are gathering to chat about how we can serve those working as volunteers in Africa better. Many of us are starting to feel really feel challenged not to measure our success in any of the above ways. Rather, spend time asking God where he is leading us, and try to be obedient to what He calls us to do. Only when we have achieved this, can we speak about success. And, of course, when we do that, we can only give the glory to God, as He did the work for us, we just obeyed.

Walking in obedience sometimes means going into the hardest places with the least support and little-to-no recognition. It means humbling yourself and serving - raising others up, not yourself.

Yet despite all this, as I sit and listen to the stories of people who have given up everything to serve overseas, I see how God has given them the strength, ability and will power to complete the tasks He has set before them. I see how they are simply men and women living extraordinary lives because of the God they serve. I hear about many miracles and examples of provision and guidance in some incredibly difficult circumstances - yet these stories are told without cheering but rather a deep sense of joy and hope. What a God we serve that allows us to journey with him like this!

So, how will I know if I've been successful?

When my God says: well done good and faithful servant.

Tie up loose ends

It's a strange thing to think of stepping off, or at least stepping away from the career ladder, to go and do voluntary service overseas. Some call us brave, others wonder how we're going to provide for our family, while others still question our wisdom in quitting paid jobs in the UK. Yet we know that it was a calling that we had to take.
However, when we first went out to South Africa, we weren't 100% sure what we would be doing and how long we would be there for. It was a step of faith in itself to even go. This meant, however, that there were many 'loose ends' that were left untied. One of these was our house. We bought a small house in the UK for us to live in, right at the peak/boom, and just before the credit crunch. Although that was a few years ago now, the market still hasn't recovered and our house is still in negative equity. Friends have been looking after the house while we've been away, and helping us towards the mortgage and bills. However, now that we're committing to a much longer time South Africa, we need to look to rent it out properly - which is not as easy-a-task as we had first anticipated! This past couple of weeks has been spent clearing, sorting/preparing the house for renters whilst meeting with prospective agents and contacting various services to take our names off council tax, water, gas, electricity, telephone, internet, tv etc.

Initially we booked our flights to return to SA for 3rd January, but due to complications with Joshua's visa, we had to move it back to the next available ticket with the same price/conditions - 22nd January. I'm so grateful for that extra time - much needed to get everything sorted here in the UK. Due to the wonders of the internet, I am able to work from 'home' (home being wherever I can get internet access!) during this time. It's not the same as being with the team in SA and I know there are many things that will be left piling up for me to take care of when I return. My prayer for today is that I will complete everything that I need to, to ensure good stewardship of what we have in the UK. Any loose ends are much harder to tie from such a long way away!

Lessons learned

Many of us have mini crises in our lives - often that is manifest through loss/injury/hurt of someone, but sometimes it can be slightly more removed from that - such as the losing of important documents whilst travelling. This can become an incredibly stressful event, even if nobody's life is in imminent danger. This happened to me this week when I was in London to collect Joshua's visa. The small bag that contained all our precious documents (marriage certificate, passports, birth certificates and important receipts) was with me no more. The worst part about it was I didn't notice that the smaller bag was missing until I was almost home because it was 'supposed' to be contained within the bigger rucksack I was carrying on my back. 

When such a crisis hits, many of us turn to prayer. As you would imagine, my experience started with panic. Anyone who has gone through the process of getting visas for their family to work overseas will know the expense and time and energy needed to replace any/all of them. I called my wife, Becky, immediately who worked hard at calming me down (though I could feel the tensions rising on the other end of the phone too). I was in Luton market at the moment I realised, getting my new mobile phone unlocked. I felt all-of-a-sudden claustrophobic and a tightening of my neck muscles. I asked the guy at the market stall to hold onto my phone for a bit whilst I take a walk. I went to the toilets, expecting to throw up, or something, but nothing. It was then that I turned to prayer. Not caring how I looked to others in the shopping centre bathroom, I started praying fervently to God for his help (I resisted dropping to my knees, but I did metaphorically). The first answer to prayer came immediately - it was in the form of an amazing sense of peace that came over me. My breathing returned to normal and I felt that somehow (though I didn't know at this stage how), everything would be ok. 

I began the painful process of retracing my steps back from Luton through every shop, back to the train station and back to London, making sure to pick up my newly unlocked phone in the process. Eyes focused on the floor, wishing somehow that it was lying somewhere nearby. As I gradually went through this painstaking process, a couple of glimmers of hope turned out to be false (including the train guard telling me that 'they've found a bag with passports in St Pancras'). Finally, in London, slowly tracing my steps back, I continue my prayer, which went something like: "Lord, my worship of you is not dependent on my circumstances. But please help me find this bag with all the documents in it." That is when the second answer to prayer came. I heard God say to me: "You prayed with such passion then, but why do you wait for a crisis to pray like this?". I felt thoroughly rebuked, but knew deep in my heart, the truth of it. Over the past couple of months, I have become so busy that my prayer life has reduced down to very simple, and often half-hearted quiet times. 

As I acknowledged this and pledged to turn around and spend more serious time in prayer, I received a phone call from my brother-in-law. He had been called by lost property at St Pancras station and told that the item that I was looking for had been found.And it was. All the documents in tact and collected. Back in my hands. I held onto that small back so tightly, never wishing to see it depart from my sight again!

I don't believe God took that bag from me, but I see how he used the situation to get my attention - for which I am so grateful. Now is the task of follow through. Quiet time is a must. Please Lord help me to spend more time with you.